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Posted by Carl on Apr 18, 2012

Winner of The Smells Like Wargaming Contest

Congratulations to YoungAbraham from our forums for winning the Smells Like Wargaming Contest!

We apologize for the delay in announcing the winner of this contest. It’s Carl’s fault.

You may remember that we asked contest entries to detail out the Warhammer 40k Independent Character that you think should have won the Best Independent Character status in The Golden Thronies. Entrants were to tell us how they used him (or her) or how he (or she!) was used against them, that makes them feel that IC should have won.

Here was YoungAbrahams entry that won the contest!

Greetings good hosts of the Independent Characters Podcast,

It is with regret and disappointment that I must correct your selection of the “best independent character”. As I am sure you are aware, your transmissions reach the Tau Empire with somewhat of a delay, but I wrote this as soon as I was aware of your “thronies error”.

As you will recall, you selected “Vulkan He’Stan”, a misguided and superstitious zealot of the Imperium’s God-Emperor, as your “best independent character” in the current Warhammer 40,000 game, citing his incredible utility, versatility, and value. The correct answer of course, is the honorable Aun’O’T’au’Acaya’Va’Denta, may his life be eternal and his words known by all. Although as loyal citizens of the Tau Empire, I should not have to explain the reasoning of this selection to you, but I will elaborate in case there is any confusion.

Let us begin with the price of the mighty Aun’O. He clocks in at 205 points, fifteen more than He’Stan’s paltry 190, so quickly does his superiority become clear. This is because the Tau understand the commitment they must make to their commander, and in this case the commitment is a number of points that could easily buy you two of just about anything else in the codex, or indeed just about any special character in the game.

However, it must also be noted that you are not paying 205 points for Aun’O alone, as that is not the Tau way. His already incredible value (he is ever generous!) is boosted by his two loyal, and mandatory, body guards. They are the fiercest close-combat fighters to ever be trained by the Tau Empire, which means they are only slightly worse than an actual assault unit. You might assume they have power weapons, so they could actually hurt something, but obviously if the Tau had perfected that technology, it would be on every Crisis Suit ever. Instead, they are equipped with ridiculous looking axes, designed to lull the foe into a sense of security before attacking with a mighty strength of five! And, should even one of his guards fall to enemy fire, it gives the wise and gifted Aun’O an excellent opportunity to fail a morale check and begin retreating, if he deems it the best course of action. It was once suggested that that if Aun’O has bodyguards of this quality, he should have maybe a dozen of them so they could actually get something done. In his infinite wisdom, he declined, for that would not be sporting to the short-sighted foes of the Empire.

The wargear of our beloved Ethereal is equally magnificent, and its power is difficult to encapsulate in mere words. You might assume that you would get some sort of offensive capability in a character that costs as much as a battle tank, but that is not the way of the Aun’O. Indeed, how would the brave warriors of the Fire Caste feel if their ethereal was forced to fight alongside them? Instead, he has a magic walking stick, a symbol of his total authority. In addition to shielding himself and his guard with a 4+ invulnerable save, which is so impressive that an armor save would be redundant, it also boosts their toughness to a mighty five! As a small aside, it doesn’t boost it in the good way, like crisis suits, but the weak way, so the whole unit could be easily doubled out by an assault cannon, or heavy bolter with psybolts, or a large template of nearly any kind or origin. However, as only the most unspeakably incompetent of commanders would allow his beloved ethereal to come under fire at all, this should never be an issue.

The special rules of the supreme Aun’O are equally impressive, as is only fitting for one of such magnificence. He makes all the Tau that have line of sight to him stubborn, ensuring they do not flee from combat, and instead take just long enough to die to ensure the foe can seamlessly charge into another unit without ever being shot at. And, should the unspeakable happen and he fall in combat, all Tau that pass a morale check fight with preferred enemy and furious charge in hopes of redeeming their inexcusable failure, which won’t be happening as they are still woefully lackluster in assault. While you might point out that this would result in a high percentage of your predominantly-leadership-8 army retreating off of the board from the mandatory morale check, we find this fate entirely fitting for those that were so thoughtless as to let their beloved ethereal die in the first place.

As you can see, the mighty Aun’O is clearly the required choice for this competition, and we expect a revised version of your Episode 49 released in the next week, with the original version pulled from distribution. In addition, we require a list of all individuals who have contributed to, or had direct contact with the production of this episode, as their lack of judgment demonstrates a clear need for cultural re-education.

I look forward to your prompt reply,

Por’Vre’Oo’Lan

Congrats to YoungAbraham! Branden from Smells Like Wargaming will be in touch shortly to find out what 40k Unit you want and how you want it painted!

Thanks to Smells Like Wargaming for sponsoring this awesome contest! Remember, that isn’t your gamer buddies, it’s Smells Like Wargaming!

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